Copete sees red last Friday. | Majorca Daily Bulletin reporter

During a week when it was announced by Disney that they are releasing a seafaring movie about a transgender whale – “Maybe Dick” should be on our screens later this Summer! – Real Mallorca’s 64-year-old Mexican coach Javier Aguirre has become caught up in the worst series of results since he arrived on the island just over a year ago.

Five defeats in a row have started many Mallorquinistas doubting if he can keep the team in mid table where they’ve been for some time. With only two points won from the last 15 available, the Palma side lie in 12th place with 33, six places from the drop zone. Although on paper everything looks okay, not winning since February 18 is something the fans are a bit worried about.

As if our current streak wasn’t negative enough, it could get worse. We’ve suffered seven consecutive away defeats which is a devastating fact considering what’s coming up on the horizon – two back-to-back away games ! On Sunday we visit Valladolid (kick off 14:00), five points behind us who on Monday sacked their manager Pacheta (who became the 11th La Liga coach to lose his job this season, most of them dismissed through sheer panic) after Los Pucelanos went down 6-0 to Real Madrid.

Monday April 17 sees us play a much-improved Celta de Vigo and these two vitally important matches could leave a couple of completely different scenarios. The first, that if the Palma side actually start winning on the road again after five months, or we don’t, and the team hovers dangerously close to the relegation places. For the Valladolid game, Aguirre will have to redesign his defence due to suspensions. Baba, Copete and Geo Gonzalez are in that category. Martin Valjent is doubtful after a kidney problem and Nastasic has a muscle strain. Battaglia has flown the coop and joined Brazilian outfit Atletico Minero.

Copete was shown a straight red on Friday after grabbing an Osasuna player around the waist. As Copete was the last defender it was a red card all day long but he didn’t take it well. After a long, heated rant in the referee’s face, he eventually walked slowly off the pitch. He then bent the fourth official’s ear before throwing his shin pads in the direction of the VAR technician. Copete can expect anything from a two to four game suspension. The referee on Friday booked seven Mallorca players. We now have the unenviable record of having the worst yellow card count in La Liga with 97 !

Since the Osasuna game, social media sites have gone into overdrive with Mallorquinistas questioning the tactics of coach Aguirre. It’s obvious the green shoots we saw before the World Cup have all but withered. We’ve got a worrying lack of creativity in attack that has now translated into having virtually no shots on target in our last two games. Top players like Muriqi have lost that sparkle they had before the World Cup and a lot of this is down to Aguirre’s negative tactics. And the fact that if Plan A fails, there’s no Plan B to take over !

There seems to have been a breakdown between our director of football Pablo Ortells and Aguirre. In the Winter window Ortells brought in Manu Morlanes and a guy called Dennis Hadzikadunic. Morlanes had started several games for Villareal and Dennis is an internationalist for Bosnia Herzegovina so neither are lightweights. Morlanes is a player for whom we will have to pay four million euros to Villareal in the event of us staying up. It’s clear that neither Morlanes nor Hadzi are to the coach’s liking as neither has been selected to play for Mallorca in a La Liga game. That could all change on Sunday.

Players’ morale in general is also being affected by Aguirre’s negative tactics. Copete’s sending off was caused by frustration and Muriqi, whose contributions both on and off the pitch have been praised by his team-mates, left the pitch on Friday visibly fuming, again caused by the coach’s defensive shackles not allowing our attackers to do the job they’re paid to do. The situation at the moment is relatively calm but we can’t carry on looking at how other teams have done. As Mallorca enters the decisive phase of the championship, there are many doubts surfacing about Aguirre’s system. The next three games at Valladolid, Celta Vigo (A) and Getafe (H) will mark the future of our Mexican manager.

PS It was announced on Tuesday that the club have every confidence in Aguirre and he has been given the dreaded vote of confidence (in lay person’s terms that means it is almost always followed by being fired !). This process allows the club’s hierarchy to find a suitable replacement while stressing their complete faith in the hapless incumbent. Has Aguirre been handed the poisoned chalice no football manager wants ?

PPS I read that extensive trials are being held in North America’s MLS league with regard to players feigning injury, time wasting and falling down even for the slightest coming together. The other day I saw a goalkeeper go down with cramp – how does a goalkeeper get cramp ? The trials include the idea that if a player goes down he must get up within 15 seconds or be led off the pitch by medical staff. Players then remain off the pitch for three minutes – sounds good to me.

AND FINALLY, a Scottish fan attended the Spain game in Glasgow the other week with his young son. At half time the son was eating a bag of crisps while the guy to his right was puffing away on one of those Vape cigarettes. In front of them a slightly inebriated Tartan Army veteran took two or three big sniffs, turned to his mate and said “I can’t believe it, somebody’s smoking a Vape that smells just like pickled onion Monster Munch !”