RCD Mallorca 2022/23 in the "Plaza de las Tortugas. | Majorca Daily Bulletin reporter

After what was described as a “feisty” 4-1 defeat at Real Madrid last Sunday, Real Mallorca welcome last season’s Segunda champions Almeria to the Son Moix.

As we reach matchday six in La Liga Santander, the Palma side lie in 13th place, one point ahead of Almeria, and these are the kind of fixtures we have to win. There’s every likelihood Almeria will be, like us, fighting to stay in top flight Spanish football come next June.

Almeria are owned by a guy called Turki Al Sheikh who was the Saudi Arabia sports minister and has bankrolled the Andalucian team, winning them promotion last season.

He bought them for 15 million euros and a new era beckons as Almeria have lofty ambitions now that a billionaire is in charge at the renamed Power House stadium. Despite the sheikh’s undoubted wealth, he can’t fall foul of the legislation put in place to protect Spanish clubs from irresponsible ownership. The sheikh has been quoted as saying he wants Almeria to become the Manchester City of La Liga.

As for Real Mallorca, they’ve received plenty of plaudits this past week about their plucky performance in the Santiago Bernabeu.

They managed to hold out for all of 75 minutes but then crumbled after countless waves of Real Madrid attacks which included two brilliant unstoppable goals.

Real Madrid’s two Brazilian front men Vinicius Jnr and Rodrygo were their match winners, but it was Vinicius who made all the headlines, not for playing football but for his provocative behaviour towards our defenders for their tasty tackling!

Vinicius’ problems with us go back to the last game between the two teams in Son Moix. A hard tackle on Rodrygo by Raillo started the animosity.

Our right back Pablo Maffeo was also involved with the Brazilian and was lucky to stay on the pitch. Last Sunday the tension began to escalate in the 40th minute when Vinicius “dived” in the area after a coming together with Raillo.

He tried to pick Vinicius up after his simulation and they had a face off before Raillo was yellow carded. Maffeo scythed down Vinicius on more than one occasion as he too went into the referee’s notebook.

Radio station Cadena Ser said that Vinicius was “losing it” due to the ferocity of continuous fouling and said to our players “you are very bad” and “do you think you are going to win ?” Vinicius then had a pop at our manager Javier Aguirre who was heard to shout “Hit him. Hit him.”

The Real Madrid players Kroos and Alaba and later coach Carlo Ancelotti told Vinicius to concentrate on his game and keep his “boca” shut ! When asked about the incidents at the post match press conference, Aguirre said “What happens on the pitch stays on the pitch!”

There’s been more condemnation about Saturday’s kick off being at 2pm. Things were even worse when it was announced that the Betis/Girona game scheduled to kick off at 2pm on Sunday had been put back to 18:30.

In response, Moviment Mallorquinista has prepared a protest for Saturday’s game to show their dissatisfaction at the way our club is being treated by the powers that be in Madrid, who say the forecast for Saturday is cooler than it was for the Girona game, with a threat of rain. In the 14th minute the supporters’ clubs have asked Mallorca fans to stand up and turn their backs to the pitch to show their discontent.

Let’s hope the catering facilities under the new East stand have improved after a logistical disaster at the Girona game. It appears that two island companies who have been in charge of food and beverage lost their contract to a foreign multinational company based in Paris. The company called Sodexo had 40 workers missing at the Girona game and fans were complaining about the unjust price increases.

The new PVC roof on the East stand has begun to take shape, 12 out of the 14 supports are in place and it’s hoped the roof will be completed for the Barcelona game on Saturday, October 1 at 9pm. Ticket prices range from 140 to 220 euros.

PS After a brilliant start to the season, it’s congratulations to Kang In Lee who’s been called up by the South Korean manager Paulo Bento for a couple of friendlies next week.

AND FINALLY, a yellow toad is wandering through the forest fed up because he doesn’t want to be yellow, he wants to be brown or green like all the other toads and he’d be less visible to predators.

On the way he bumps into the Fairy Godmother and he begs her : “Fairy Godmother, please make me green like the other toads. I’m fed up being yellow.” The Fairy Godmother whips out her magic wand and says “Abracadabra ! You’re green !”

The toad looks down and sees that indeed he is green, except for his package which is still yellow. He says to the Fairy Godmother “Wait a minute, my meat and two veg are still yellow !” She tells him “I don’t do willies, go and see the Wizard of Oz for that.”

The toad hops off on his way. There also happens to be a purple bear wandering around in the same forest and he meets the Fairy Godmother. He pleads with her to make him brown like the other bears. She takes out her magic wand again and waves it and he’s brown. The bear looks down and sees he is brown with the exception of the old twig and berries, they remain purple. He says “What about my wedding tackle, they’re still purple ?” She says “I don’t do genitals, you’ll need to see the Wizard of Oz for that.”

The bear asks “Cool, but how do I find this Wizard of Oz ?” The Godmother replies “Easy peasy, just follow the yellow pr**k toad !!!”